The next chapter...

As I look over my blog posts and the dates that I posted them in the past, I see that it has been nearly two years since I put my thoughts to paper (well, electronic paper).  As I read through a few of them, there were some dark periods in my life that were coming to the surface again.  If those postings were from a friend and I read them, I would know that there is something wrong and I needed to reach out to that friend and try to help. The sad thing, nobody picked up on the clues and nobody stepped up to find out what was going wrong.  But that is ok.

As you can see, I have made it through the dark ages and I am close to starting the next chapter of my life.  Now the question for all those in my life...will I write your name in the next chapter or will you be a footnote, a reference, or written out of the next chapter? 

(I will let you pause for a moment to think about your role in the book of "This is Michael's Life".)

Ok, chapter one had several villains, a few special relationships, and set the foundation of what is possible in my life. To save time, I am not going to talk about the villains, quite frankly they are not worth my time or energy. You each know who you are and what you did to me and my life.  I don't wish any harm on any villain, but you will reap what you sow. One villain is already dead and gone and I pray that God will have mercy on your soul, because I sure the hell don't forgive you for the things that you did to me for years.  I do forgive myself for hiding the truth and living a lie that made me doubt my ability to be a loving father with my own sons.  I wasn't the father of the year, but my sons knew that I would always be there, even if I couldn't be there financially.

The special relationships, each had ups and downs, times of love, times of lust and times of just down right fun. The special ones are that center ring of friends and lovers that made me enjoy life and being with each person in our own special way. As I said in a previous blog about regrets, I try my best to live my life without regrets.  There were a few relationships that top them all and I still think fondly of those moments and time that we shared. There is one friend in particular that has always been the best friend ever and I still think I am not worthy to have him as a friend.  No matter how long we go without seeing or talking to each other, it is a total joy to hear his voice and spend time with him when I head to Tulare.

So those that want to be in Chapter two, there is no application or line to stand in, just be yourself.  If you are meant to be in the chapter, you will be there because those that can contribute to the chapter know their roles already.

(Wow, now that I read this over again, I have a disclaimer...this is not a Mid-Life-Crisis thing!)