Are you family or a relative? Not necessarily to me, but to anyone in your life? Do you know the meaning of family and relative? When you talk about people that you have a common blood bond with them, are they a family member or just a relative.
To give you a chance to know the difference, take a look at what a dictionary has to say about both words. Family - a social unit living together. Relative - a person related by blood or marriage. Most people would say that they are a the same thing and describes the same people...but I have news for you...they are different.
Let's start with family...who do I consider to be my family? Those that I share a direct blood link with, therefore, that is my children and their mother, my brothers and sisters. (Of course my own mother, and my father if I knew who he was!) You might say, "no duh Michael", however you would be amazed how many people say their family is much larger, when it really is not. Now my relatives would be anyone that still shares a blood relationship but not directly with me, so that would consist of aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews. Now this is where it gets a little tricky because if you are married, then you do have other family members due to marriage, however they are really just relatives because of a marriage.
Now that you see my understanding of who is what to me, lets talk about the level of loyalty, love and respect. Because to me, each group has a different level with me and that means that they can expect a certain amount of attention, respect, loyalty from me, but my love is the same for them all.
Family....they are the primary focus in my life and they can always know that I will be there in some form or fashion. My children and their mother are the first level of attention because as a father I must make sure that they are taken care of to the best of my ability. If they have a need (not a want), then I do what I have to do to take care of their need. Their "wants" are their problem, not mine! I have my own "wants" that need to be satisfied. The next level of my family is my brothers and sisters. Especially my sisters, because my sisters are very precious to me. My brothers are just as important however, they are older than me, so I look up to them for advice and guidance. At the same time I have to protect my family from those that want to hurt my family. That even means, at times, protect my family from other family members that like to start trouble. We all have them and you know it, just think of those family members that you know are going to get a little "juice" in them and just start talking trash or acting crazy. It is so easy to have problems with family members, because you don't expect a family member to betray, ignore or disown a family member. BUT IT DOES HAPPEN, and I have seen it personally. But that is another story!
Relative...this is easy to sum up, because all relatives are part of someone else's family. Just because you are a relative, that does not mean you are going to get along or even like each other at times. For me, I have a lot of relatives all over the country by blood and by marriage. Although in the recent years, it seems like a specific side of my relatives have the ability to forget that we are even alive. I must admit, I don't know why we don't spend time with each other anymore, but I have heard rumors. Some of the rumors are due to a change of views, and others based on racism. Which one is true, I do not know, and right now, I really don't care. The rest of my relatives on my side of the family are living their lives and loving life to the best of their ability. We may not speak to each other that often but I hope and pray that they know that I love them all.
Now there is another group of people that I did not talk about because they are not blood but I see them as family because they are so important to me. I have one friend that I call a sister because she and I can talk about anything at anytime and see eye to eye on the issue. We can let our defenses down and just speak like friends should. I have a few male friends that I call brothers because we seem like brothers to each other at times. Of course I have a very select group that is extremely close to me and all I can say is that I love each one in their own special way. I don't have to mention any names because each of these people know exactly how much I love them individually.
I guess what I am trying to say is that over time some relatives might make you rather upset with things said or down, but each relative is part of a family. Never burn your bridges with your relatives, because there may come a time when your family will need the help of relatives to take care of problems. No matter what is said or done, there is NEVER a reason to be mean, cruel, rude, ignore, disown a family member or relative because we all will need each other at some other point in time.
Those of you reading this that might be in my family or one of my relatives, remember, I love you...no matter how long it takes for us to talk or spend time together again. You are all in my heart because I love my family and my relatives.
If you are one of those people that is outside of my family or relatives and like to cause problems, do yourself a favor and just keep it to yourself. Just like any family, we have our own problems and don't need your hate and bad attitudes causing problems. To put it simple, don't bring your bullshit to my door step because I don't need it and you may not like my response to the crap you cause.
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